The Blamer Always Brings Flowers

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June 05, 2007

Yesterday he left me, and I found out later he went to see his girlfriend. A few days ago he said that he was unhappy in the marriage and he didn’t know if he wanted to be married. He blames me entirely for the situation last year. It was clearly sexual harassment. He has abandoned me and the cats. He said that we will talk in a couple of weeks after he has done counselling sessions. My heart is broken into a million pieces. I feel like he died. Once he left I removed everything from the house that reminded me of him. Interesting it only took me five minutes. There are a few pictures. I had not realized before but there is no warmth in this house. There is no love in this house.

When I came home from work today there were flowers on the table along with this card.

“Dear _____

When I came home today I noticed that you removed all the pictures from the walls and emptied all my drawers from the clothes. this deeply saddened me. I thought that during this time I/we would work at our marriage. I choose to go to counselling to improve myself and ultimately our marriage. You said it would be too hard to see me and I have left this home NOT because I choose to for myself but because you wanted me to. By removing the pictures I only see you destroying memories of me/us. I agreed to leave temporarily because I thought that it would give you space and time to reflect alone and perhaps to miss me/us. I sense that you feel I’m abandoning you/us. This is not the case. I’m going through a difficult time in my life and so is my marriage. However I most certainly am NOT throwing in the towel. I’m desperately searching as this card says on the front and hope that you do to. You are a huge part of my life. As I reflect / search and think I know how enriched my life has been with you. I know that one thing is for sure I’m happy more than you know that you entered my life. Please don’t give up, it would be a tragedy. I’m still your husband and your still my wife. XOXO ____” I found out later he left and went to see his girlfriend. I had asked him several times if there was anyone else. He would always reply, ” No, I love you and I know about boundries”.

PLEASE TAKE A FEW MOMENTS TO PARTICIPATE IN OUR POLL

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