Please Turn Off The Lights… the Management

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If I was to be perfectly honest there were signs from the very beginning of their relationship. On their first date he picked her up for dinner in the dead of winter wearing only a pullover and a toque and managed to have my daughter pay for her own dinner. He was almost immediately at our house at every waking moment, and after a few days into their relationship I would come home from work and find him right at home showering and shaving in my bathroom. I was immediately turned off. He was cocky from the beginning. He thought it was his right. We would notice at times he would make fun of her, in a almost “put down”, way. I remember the time she fell while jogging. She knew she needed an x-ray,she has weak ankles but for some reason he thought that it wasn’t necessary right away and it was more important for her to sit in a lawn chair (in pain) at his mother’s while he practiced his golf swings. He only took her to the walk-in clinic after she called me. She broke her foot. And up until they separated he continually brought up the incident and would make fun of her how breaking her foot was her fault. She ran too close to the edge. He always pointed out what she did wrong. I know now that by not bringing her to the clinic immediately was in fact his control and power in the infancy of their relationship.

It all changed dramatically after they were married. She was not happy. We could see it. They did not seem like a couple newly married, that couldn’t keep their hands off each other, who were in love. Their relationship had moved to a different level. This was clear to me when I visited her one day and noticed holes in her doors and signs underneath every light switch that said. PLEASE TURN OFF THE LIGHTS…….the MANAGEMENT.

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My Nightmare Continues

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August 11, 2007

Today started off on a good note somewhat, after the drive to work. I tried so hard not to look to the left, when driving. I was so nervous that I would pass by him again. I had an appointment at the bank. She wanted a signed separation agreement so I was not approved for the loan. After talking to the lawyer at Woman’s Place I doubt if I will be approved. I called my lawyer’s assistant and expressed how disappointed I am that they do not return any of my calls and at that point I felt empowered. I then spoke with my abuse councillor and felt better. I then went and spoke with the lawyer at Woman’s Place. She was very direct, and basically said that I was in control of the process and that my lawyer has been waiting for me to give him my financial statement. I felt like I am getting slapped in the face time and time again. It is only about assets. Forget about the scars he inflicted and the affair. They do not mean anything. I am so tired of people being blunt with me. It is easy for people to say things without considering the impact. People do not understand. I lived with this person for 7 years. They did not marry this person, I did! This nightmare is not going away. I feel like I keep getting shot down, over and over again. Will something good ever happen? I have suffered enough. Or will it get worse? I am not very optimistic.I am starting to get used to this. I wish that my mom would think before she speaks sometimes. Her comments are sometimes hurtful. Like you need to complete your financial statement, he has moved on with his life. I do not want to hear that. I felt my heart sink into my stomach. I spend time with my abuse councillor trying to understand and put things into perspective. Comments like that make me revert back. They are too strong and direct! I hope tomorrow is a better day.

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