Was he an abuser?
The following checklist identifies attitudes or behaviors of abusers. The more items that are answered yes to, the more abuse potential there is. My daughter was asked to complete this inventory by several professionals. Here are my son-in-laws results:
- Become extremely critical or cynical? Yes
- Behave unpredictably, inconsistently, or impulsively? Yes
- Consistently require perfection from others? Yes
- Constantly blame others? Yes
- Express few emotions other than anger/frustration? Yes
- Habitually lie or cheat? Yes
- Use force (physical or emotional in sex or your relationship? Yes
- Have a history of violence or abuse?
- Have a self-centered personality? Yes
- Have an explosive temper?
- Exhibit cruelty to animals? Yes
- Have low self-esteem, self-worth, or self-identity? Yes
- Have the answer for everything? Yes
- Hold rigid beliefs, opinions, and ideas? Yes
- Lack the ability to be intimate? Yes
- Lack the ability to nurture or feel empathy for other people? Yes
- Refuse to accept responsibility for actions? Yes
- Show excessive jealously and obsession? Yes
- Socially isolate himself?
- Use controlling or possessive behaviour? Yes
- Rely on and use weapons?
- Use threats to win arguments?
So I ask again. Is he an abuser? The consensus is YES.
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