September 30, 2007
Today was a difficult day. I had night terrors all night and then woke up with a sinus infection. I could not stop crying and feeling depressed. I keep thinking about “them”. I would love to be a fly on the wall when he does this to her. I talked to my mom several times throughout the day. I went to work, at least attempted, but could not concentrate. It was like I was paralyzed. So I decided to work on my school assignment. I started to think when he said he wanted to be my friend. I will never understand that. I hate him so much. I hate what he did to me. when I was working I received a phone call. When I said “hello”, they hung up. It was like they were surprised that I answered. It was him. I know it. You have to dial my work number then my extension. And then it says my name that they are being put through . It was not a wrong number.I guess in a weird way, I hoped it was him. I guess I want something to say that I exist. That he has thought about me once during all these months and not me and money.
I could not stop crying all day. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. I phoned a running club and I am going on Tuesday. I am going to the Gospel church tomorrow.
Tomorrow will be a better day!
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