October 21, 2007
Today I am so sad. I wish someone would just kill me! I can’t stop hurting. I just live. I keep busy and distracted and that’s it. But I am profoundly sad. I went to Runners Den this morning to run at 9:00, but sure enough they left at 8:45. I managed to catch up to them though. My running has improved. I noticed Scott does not pay much attention to me. I wander why. I really should not care. I guess I just want to fit in. I was so hungry all day I could not stop eating. I then sat in the park by myself again and watched the ducks and the people go to the ice cream festival. I wish I had a family to go with, but I don’t.
I then went for a manicure. All the girl talked about was her husband. I could not stand it. I get so jealous. Then I think and compare. I need to stop that. I never had a good marriage. I miss having someone around. i get so jealous of people who are married. I just want to be in bed and never wake up. Maybe all the running will cause me to have a heart attack. then it will be a natural death.
I then went to work and did school work. It is now starting to be time consuming. I also drove by my condo and looked in the window. A girl at work told me that she is jealous that I am single, attractive and young and how exciting it is for me to move into a condo. I said that I was angry. So think about it, your husband is going to cheat, steal from you and then ask yourself, are you going to be happy?. Who wants to be alone? I remember my ex saying to me once, who wants to date again! I hope to God that she dumps him and he will get that opportunity. I hope that I am happily remarried with a family and he falls flat on his face!
PLEASE TAKE A FEW MOMENTS TO PARTICIPATE IN OUR POLL