October 23, 2007
Today I worked for 8 hours. I felt so sick all day. My lungs hurt. My eyes hurt. I was in alot of pain, but I kept on going. When I feel sick I am no longer going to feel bad about it. That is how it is. I have a chronic condition, and that’s that! He always made me feel bad when I was sick.
Today I felt free! I hardly thought of my old life. I would not want to go back there. I remembered when we went to the Lake and he just slept all day in the room. Then when we went to the Beach, he stayed in the room and watched soccer. I look back and think that was so rude. I mean he did not even try. I then remembered again when he used to make me put up my hand to speak. Then he would pretend to be the “judge” and say “Okay, the juror with the blue shirt on, you now can have the floor” That was so degrading. I can’t imagine anyone else doing that. I stayed too long. I know now what I have always known deep inside, I never loved him.You cannot love someone like that. It was just convenience and familiarity. At this point in my life I would rather be alone. I thrive when I am on my own. I think life will be better. I need to surround myself with good people. I do not want to party, drink and go to bars. That is no longer my thing. But I also need space to figure things out.
PLEASE TAKE A FEW MOMENTS TO PARTICIPATE IN OUR POLL