October 28, 2007
Today, was a very sad day. I started my day in church. That was OK. I still find it a bit overwhelming because it s different and I am not used to it. Although I say to myself that my Evangelical friends were the best compared to the so called Catholics. I will see how it goes. Maybe I will try something different like the United Church. I do not know. I am going to give it some time. It would be nice to meet people my age. I then went for lunch with the couple I met at the church. They are die-hard Born Again Christians. They are missionaries. It was bit uncomfortable. I though the husband was a bit eccentric. He then went to the car and brought me a Bible. They are trying to convert me, but I am still only testing the waters. then I thought if my Ex saw me now he would laugh at me. Like I said it would be nice to meet people my own age.
This is a different life. I feel lost. I don’t know who I am. I was depressed and decided to go to Leons. I bought a mattress, TV, and stand all for $2000.00. The staff person kept saying ” You must be so excited!” I am sick of hearing that. No I am not excited! I am scared! I was forced into this situation. I am still mad, angry, sad, and depressed. How could he do this to me? I hate him so much. I am so mad! I want to kill him. I want to go get a gun and shoot him in cold blood. I want to kill her as well. But I won’t. I do not want to spend the rest of my life in jail. But I now understand why woman who are so emotionally abused by their husbands’ kill them.
My head hurts so much. I wish the pain would go away. I want justice. Something??
Another day is almost over.
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