June 15, 2008
Today is Father’s Day, and I find myself wondering what “they” are doing. I find that I do this more on a holiday or a “special” day. Although, there is an apparent difference between this year and last year, I no longer find myself obsessing about it but rather thinking about it occasionally and at the same time enjoying the company of my family. So, with each passing year, I can honestly say that it gets easier. I had an epiphany this week; I started to feel sorry for his girlfriend. I began to realize that she must have been in a very bad place to pursue or be manipulated by a married man. I have held on to so much anger this past year and I do no want to carry the weight any longer. I was carrying “their” unhappiness, and now want to be set free. I am not responsible for their actions and their lives, so why should I carry their burden. In fact, I can honestly say that they are both strangers to me. I do not know them, and if I had a choice, would not want to be acquainted with either of them. But, the simple truth is that had a major impact in my life that I will never forget. I think about it everyday. I wonder if I will meet her one day. I asked the same question this year, and finally got a response. Why would someone pursue a married man then buy part of the matrimonial home, after dating him for 6 months or so. The answer is, “romantic love”. This is a time when we think we are falling in love with someone, and will do anything, like buy a home together, get married etc. Unfortunately, romantic love disappears and it is at this time that you find yourself in a relationship, good or bad. I don’t know what it is like for her, but if she was living my life she can have it. I am starting to pray for them both, and am trying to forgive them, with each passing day, so that I can live a full and rich life and be able to move on.