Trust In Yourself

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Dr. Steven Stosny

While a certain caution in dating is a good thing, you want to be sure that your caution is proactive, rather than reactive; you want it based on trusting your instincts, rather than distrusting love.

Trust in yourself stems from your deepest values. As long as you stay attuned to the most important things to and about you, you will naturally gravitate toward those who truly value you as a person.

But even if you are firmly grounded in your values, it’s possible to be fooled by hidden resentment, anger, or abusive tendencies in the people you date. That’s because it’s easy for those prone to such tendencies to put on a false dating face. Because they have a more “fluid” sense of self than most people, it’s easier for them to pour it into any container they think you might like. But they can’t and won’t stay in a nice container once you establish a relationship. Then their resentment, anger, or abuse emerges in full force.

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One Response to “Trust In Yourself”

  1. kat Says:

    Thank you for this note on dating.
    After going through a bit of a depression after my father died, I signed on with eharmony (on Feb. 14th as a matter of boredom and lonliness)
    I have been learning a lot about these kind of guys that once they see your photos (extra photos sent to their private email address) they bail!
    I am being very cautious and thinking about stopping my subscription.
    It’s just that there are no potentials in my small town!
    Oh, well. I guess I better get back to my routine!
    Thanks for reading!


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