Where am I now….
Well it has been a long time, so I thought that I would provide an update in my journey of healing. I thought that after 2 and half years since my separation that I would be able to move on and forget everything that happened to me, but that was not the case. I also thought, like depicted in the movies, that my prince charming would come and save me from my pain. That also did not happen. Instead, I have had to persevere and continue my journey of healing. I realized that healing is a continuous process with many stages. In the beginning, I was trying to survive one minute at a time, then I went through the grieving stages, namely denial, angry, sad, and I am finally in acceptance and moving on with my life. This took a lot of hard work and determination to survive. I now no longer talk about the past, but am trying to change my way of thinking about my present circumstances and the future. It is now about me, and not about him.
I am seeing a psychologist on a regular basis and using social cognitive behavioral therapy, which is the most effective method for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Depression. It focuses on changing the way you think. Instead of looking at the glass half empty, this type of therapy teaches you how to look at the glass half full. I am also seeing a Psychiatrist. I never thought in a million years that I would ever see a Psychiatrist. I remember, when I first walked in his office, I asked him where the men were with straight jackets to take me a way. No one came to take me away; rather the Psychiatrist gave me some resources that I needed to become mentally healthy again. I used to think that it was a weakness seeking help from a Psychiatrist, but now I think it was strength of mine to seek the most appropriate help that I needed to feel like myself again. After several sessions, I have been feeling better each day both mentally and physically. I now know that healing takes time, it is not a light switch that you are able to turn off, and instead healing is a process with many stages. So, I have now learned to now take a deep breath and give myself permission to heal with no time limits.
Take Care,
Mount Cope
She Called It "Mount Cope" 
November 28, 2009 at 2:38 am
I think you have moved on much further than you know — this coming from someone still “stuck there”. You haven’t hooked up with another abuser, and you keep putting one foot in front of the other, ya know?
I see a psychiatrist, too. And a psychologist. And a case manager, lol. But so far, I’ve been hush-hush about the verbal/emotional abuse inflicted upon me. So once again, you’re two steps ahead. And you’ve given someone who’s a bit further behind in her journey a bit more courage to open that door. A very wise person once suggested I might have PTSD, but it just never occurred to me to take a closer look at that until I read your post. I think you’re enourmously courageous. Even approaching the subject is scary for me, in that I don’t know what kind of dark alleys from the past I might find myself reliving, as emotional abuse has been an everlasting theme from the beginning of my life. But the various “disorders” I’m being treated for might just have manifested through PTSD.
Hmm…. thanks for shedding some light on a few different things, and for sharing your progress.
You go, girl!
*xo*
December 10, 2009 at 9:59 pm
my daughter is in a abusive marriage, just gone back – again- after leaving him 10 days ago. Taken her 8 year old son with her and she is 4 months pregnant.
What can a parent do? Why won’t she listen to reason from us, her friends, family and counsellor? What makes you go back and is there any counseling for the parents of people in these relationships? Why does the law allow the mother to take her kids back into this relationship??
March 26, 2010 at 10:40 am
sometimes when getting to this stage you can really enjoy life! sometimes you can focus on the things about life that really give you happiness and enjoyment, for themselves, rather than just as a positive alternative to an undesirable negative. sometimes you can even take real pleasure in the process of things getting better, not because it’s hard to do and the alternative is so much worse, but because it is wonderful to experience the process of emerging from a dark place. it is the beauty of getting better than a lot of therapists find difficult to make clear. try and experience the little moments of joy in life! hopefully this makes some sense!