It Was All About the Money


June 17,2007

Well, I have been separated for 2 weeks. It really sucks and really hurts.I know that if I stayed home yesterday he would have come over to tell me that it was over, it was all my fault, and “I am doing it for you.” He would also want to discuss assets. I wasn’t there. I pulled into my parents driveway and my cell rang again. It was him. It was the fifth time. He has an agenda, like always. He wants to talk about finances.He wants to take control of the situation. I cannot talk to him right now. I am not strong enough. I am seeing another lawyer on Tuesday. This house looks so empty. It does not look like a man lives here. He has been planning this for months, that is why he is so emotionally detached. He is also seeking revenge. He took naked pictures of me , when I said no and tried to talk me into filming a porn movie. He wanted to post these on the internet to make money. It was all about money. It was all about revenge. He used to say to me that his revenge would be after such a time has elapsed, that no one would know it was him. His plan for revenge was directed at me. He plans on putting my pictures on the internet for money and to ultimately ruin my reputation. I remember that he was always bugging me to take naked pictures of me and to create “our own” porn movie. What a complete asshole. Several months prior I found out I was paying 300.00 more than I should have for my half of the expenses. When I questioned him , he said that he didn’t know. What a jerk! He was an emotionally abusive, controlling husband. So why am I so hurt? I do not understand. I wanted to get out of this marriage for so long. I felt like I was drowning.

I remember:

  • That he gave me a difficult time every time I spent money.
  • I could not buy a cup of coffee
  • Could not get my car washed
  • Had to go to his gas station for the points
  • I had to save and he checked all my receipts
  • Had to bring my lunch
  • Could not go to a restaurant and talk about anything personal. I embarassed him. We needed to sit in a booth away from everybody
  • Did not respect when I said NO.
  • Did not care about my opinion. I told him I did not want to go to Cuba. I kept telling him I did not want to go to Cuba. He booked the trip to Cuba.
  • Told me I should be hanging out with his friends wives.
  • Did not like my friends
  • Told me that he thinks he is GOD and he is always right

So why do I miss him? It does not make any sense. Maybe it is because he has been in my live for 7 years. He always ignored me and used to say to me ” If I wasn’t here you would have to learn to do things for yourself.” He never wanted to do anything in our house. I did not realize what a liar he is. I think he lied a lot.



One Response to “It Was All About the Money”

  1. Dooley Says:

    It’s a simple want for the familiar. At one point, things were good. Now they are not. Things change. It sucks, but dealing with it is to say to yourself that this individual has no power over me. Harder than it sounds? That’s because people concern themselves over how it sounds.

    Basically you have to admit that without you, nothing happens. Further on the topic is that you can’t help feel inadequete for the treatment.
    I am an extremely outspoken individual in a relationship with a person who is not so.

    I poke, and I prod, as is my nature, but I love her so, and am careful not to ‘hit too hard’ and apologize if I get out of hand.
    She loves me for my antics, but she’s not with me for abuse.
    Young lovers tend to fall into this trap where one fauns for the other (as opposed to realizing their potential as a couple), and most people either become jaded, believing that relationships are for the insane or mentaly challenged.

    If more people could bring themselves to be honest, and be independant, relationships would actually become easier. A strong sense of self can help (not ego, but a sense of self-preservation and perseverance).
    Honesty means two things. #1 that if the relationship isn’t working out for you, you tell the person, and why. This can be difficult as a woman, and as a man, you may get emotional (heated). The trick herein is to have some friends around and then address the why and then move to what. Meaning (in front of people you both trust): ‘you left the toilet seat up again. you didn’t pick up any milk for the fourth time and now the baby’s dead from starvation. to top it all off, you boned my sister and dirtied our own bed. we’re doneski.

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