May 13, 2008
Today, I felt a sense of “calm.” I feel a sense of freedom that I have not felt in years. I am so happy that I opened up to those around me and told them exactly how I was feeling. I now have hope. In the past, I tried everything to feel better and was able to abstained from alcohol and drugs to numb the pain. I have tried running, meditation, journaling, reading, counseling, and support groups, but it was like I was missing an important ingredient, “medicine”. I think, that it comes a point that it is merely clinical, and requires treatment. It is like a bacteria infection that requires treatment in order to get better. I want to move on and put the past behind me. I wonder, if I had been treated for clinical depression when I was married, I probably would have left sooner than I did. I have started to see things a bit more clearly, without the “emotional fogginess”. I have not cried in 4 days now, and it feels great. However, I do feel a little dizzy at times from the medication, and a bit nauseous, but that will pass once my body gets adjusted to it. I thought that I would share some of the signs of clinical depression. If you experience any of these symptoms, you should speak to a Health Care Provider.
- Sleep disturbances-insomnia, oversleeping, waking much earlier than usual
- Changes in appetite or eating: much more or much less
- Decreased energy, fatigue
- Headaches, stomachaches, digestive problems or other physical symptoms that are not explained by other physical conditions or do not respond to treatment
- Loss of interest or pleasure in activities that were once enjoyed, such as going out with friends, hobbies, sports, sex, etc.
- Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions
- Neglecting responsibilities or personal appearance
- Persistent sad or “empty” mood, lasting two or more weeks
- Crying “for no reason”
- Feeling hopeless, helpless, guilty or worthless
- Feeling irritable, agitated or anxious
- Thoughts of death or suicide
Source: University Health Center