Wondering

September 07, 2007

I often wonder what will my life be like in 2 years. Will I still be working in the same place? Will I be dating, married, have a child? I do not know. Today I am feeling depressed. My friend from work suggested that I meet with Will, because I have a lot in common with him. I met him at the restaurant and remember getting so angry. He was extremely nerdy and mentioned that he knew firemen in Mount Cope. That was it. I lost it. It was funny though we had a lot in common, although I did not share that with him. Theater, wine and cheese, jet skiing. He drove me nuts and I felt so uncomfortable. I am not going to do that again. I will not go on blind dates. In fact I am just going to do my own thing. That is it! Maybe I will be single for the rest of my life. I do not trust anyone!! I am still so hurt with what happened to me, I don’t know if I can ever date again.

I am still so angry. I think that if I had not asked him to leave, I would still be married. What is the difference? He was sleeping around while we were married. I am sure of that. So this would have been just another person. I married the devil. It was a horrible relationship, and it ended so badly. I guess it could have been worse. I could have killed him, or he could have killed me. I was not following the plan. I had my own thoughts and ideas. I did not want to keep on taking out loans and talk about money all the time. ” I was difficult”.

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