June 17, 2008
I am starting to look back at my relationship, with a different perspective. I know that it was a horrible marriage and he was abusive toward me. I was recently explained, that the “abuser” has a “we” plan and if you deviate from his “we” plan, than he will start to treat you poorly and become abusive. He wants you to think like him, and conform to his ideologies, beliefs, values, and behavior. During, this time, you begin to lose your sense of self, and start conforming to what he wants you to become, “an image of himself”. It took over 1 year to realize that there is nothing wrong with me, just because I am not like him. I learned this just recently after dating several men. They were all very different, and none were alike. Some liked to golf and like sports, and on the other hand some liked boating and riding motorcycles. I am learning to embrace myself, and at the same time learning more about myself everyday. No one is no longer telling me “who I am”, instead I am defining who I am. Do you know who you are?