Self Quiz: Am I In An Abusive Relationship?

By Toby D. Goldsmith, MD

Below are some questions and checklists to help you determine if you are in an abusive relationship. Answer the questions honestly. If you answer “yes” to any of the following questions, you may be a victim of abuse.
lie to your family, friends and doctor about your bruises, cuts and scratches?

In addition to those questions, consider the following two checklists. The first list includes signs of emotional abuse. You are probably the victim of emotional abuse if your partner:

• Repeatedly gives you destructive criticism, verbal threats and browbeating.
• Always claims to be right.
• Excludes you from making decisions and claims to be the head of the household.
• Abuses your trust by lying, hiding important information and papers, cheating or being inappropriately jealous.
• Minimizes or denies abusive behavior.
• Constantly shows disrespect, puts you down or embarrasses you in front of others.
• Harasses you by following you or checking up on you.
• Prevents you from seeing your relatives or friends or insists on going everywhere with you.
• Monitors your phone calls.

The next list includes signs of physical abuse. You are a victim of physical abuse if your partner:

• Intimidates you through angry or threatening gestures.
• Destroys your belongings or household items.
• Coerces you to have sex or perform sexual acts against your will.
• Kicks, bites, stabs, pushes, burns or chokes you.
• Uses weapons to threaten or harm you or others you love.

If you answered “yes” to one or more of these questions, or experience these forms of emotional and physical abuse in your relationship, you should seek help. Abuse is not acceptable behavior and is not something you should just learn to live with.

Don’t be a victim that keeps this a silent disease. Seek help from relatives, friends, law enforcement or community resources. With their help, you may be able to stop the abuse or, if necessary, leave the relationship. Realize that once the abuse has started, it will nearly always get worse.