Light Of My New Beginning

May 10, 2008

I think yesterday is going to be the first day of the rest of my life. I have been so upset over the last year that I finally decided to talk openly with a physician about my feelings. She had diagnosed me with major depression. I never thought that in my entire lifetime that I would be diagnosed with depression. I was once young, vibrant and happy and depression was not in my vocabulary, it is something that I read about in school, it is something that I thought could ever touch me, but it has. In retrospect, I was depressed after I got married, which then turned into a severe depression after my separation. I have finally decided to take medication, and gain control over my life. I will have to take it for a year. I noticed that I feel a bit better already, it may be the medication, or it may be the fact that I am hopeful. I blame him for this. They leave a path of destruction whoever comes in contact with them, no one is immune. I hope that I can start feeling like myself. I want to start dating again, “healthfully” but can’t until I deal with this and deal with my anxiety. It is tempting to date though, I would probably get a date next week. But I am not strong enough to enter that world. To new beginnings….

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3 Responses to “Light Of My New Beginning”

  1. Susan Says:

    I hope it is not imposing on you to comment on most all of your recent posts, but I am thankful that I can read them, because it helps me to understand what I have been through, and how it affects people. Unless you have been through it, it is hard to fully comprehend. I am glad that you have decided to take medication, I believe there is a definite need for them, and it seems you’ve tried everything but. I think you will begin to feel more like yourself and you will have a renewed confidence and an awakening to your old self. I’m very happy for you. You are getting stronger. Remember that you are not alone…and that you are worthy of all the very best. Smile, and don’t stop!

  2. mountcope Says:

    Susan,
    Thank you very much for the kind words and valuable insight. I hope that you keep writing me, because I see you as a role model that possesses strength, courage and tenacity. Your words not only help me, but help the thousand other women who are reading this blog , and going through the same thing.
    Take Care
    Mount Cope

  3. Susan Says:

    Tenacity: (Physics) The greatest longitudinal stress a substance can bear without tearing asunder, —

    Don’t laugh, but I looked that word up for the literal Webster’s interpretation…I particularly liked the “physics” definition…I pasted it above. Thank you for offering up the strong word and reminding me that I am going to be okay…it seemed to be just what I needed to realize. I read an article earlier today about how much we muscle through things, both physically and mentally, we are such a GO society..that we become hardened and closed off..we get knotted up in every sense of the word and how much we need to let go and open up…allow ourselves to receive. I like that you feel calm and relaxed today…just like the physical body that is opening up, it takes time and consistency to release old patterns and habits. Take it day by day, be very patient…some days will be better than others….”I think, therefore I AM.” Namaste MC.


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