May 10, 2008
I think yesterday is going to be the first day of the rest of my life. I have been so upset over the last year that I finally decided to talk openly with a physician about my feelings. She had diagnosed me with major depression. I never thought that in my entire lifetime that I would be diagnosed with depression. I was once young, vibrant and happy and depression was not in my vocabulary, it is something that I read about in school, it is something that I thought could ever touch me, but it has. In retrospect, I was depressed after I got married, which then turned into a severe depression after my separation. I have finally decided to take medication, and gain control over my life. I will have to take it for a year. I noticed that I feel a bit better already, it may be the medication, or it may be the fact that I am hopeful. I blame him for this. They leave a path of destruction whoever comes in contact with them, no one is immune. I hope that I can start feeling like myself. I want to start dating again, “healthfully” but can’t until I deal with this and deal with my anxiety. It is tempting to date though, I would probably get a date next week. But I am not strong enough to enter that world. To new beginnings….