His Pedestal

He would always put her down and make her feel bad about herself. And with his next breath tell her how much he loved her, all the while ensuring his constant reinforcement of what a great husband he was. “Everything I do is for you”, he would say. A great husband indeed. He was such a great husband that there were countless times I could not stand to be in the same room with him. Times that I would make excuses to his mother that I could not attend her family dinner because, I was suffering with an abscess tooth, a flu bug, or a bad cold. I knew these times would have been too much of a challenge for me to sit there pretending everything was fine. It was becoming all too unbearable pretending that his “support”, “guidance”, “put downs” and “crazy making” was an acceptable way to treat my daughter. I was disgusted. My husband was disgusted. I would often wander if his mother was also disgusted with his behavior, or did she believe this was acceptable because it was not her son’s fault? Or was she just turning a blind eye hoping it would all go away?.

He was summoned by his mother to her house eight days into their “trial separation” which he proclaimed would “strengthen their marriage”, but found my daughter waiting for him. Angry at this inconvenience he continued to put full blame on her for the separation and all their marital problems. She was devastated. But before he left his mother’s house that night he told my daughter… ” I treated you like Shit!” “Next time I am going to do things differently”. “I am going to put my girlfriend on a pedestal”

“If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must Man be of learning from experience” George Bernard Shaw

That night his mother unknowingly had interrupted his night with his “next time girlfriend” but knowing that history will repeat itself, I often wander how many times has my ex son-in-law “allowed” his next time girlfriend off that pedestal.

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