Missing

July 26, 2007

Today I went to my friends stag n’ doe. It was so hard. I try very hard to be there for her but it is so difficult when I am in so much pain. I felt like someone is missing. I was not complete. I am missing my ex. But what am I missing? If he was here he would just sit there like a log and ignore me. I was in charge of the crown and anchor . I really did not want to be there. It is like an alcoholic going to a bar. When is this pain going to end? I get wrapped up in his girlfriend. I think of everything. I hope she goes to hell. I want to inflict on her the pain that I feel. But I know in the future she will feel like I do. He will be abusive towards her. I hope she will feel like I do. I still can’t believe this is happening to me. Does he think about me at all? Seven years has to account for something.

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