“It is called “Mount Cope.” For me it was a place where I coped on a daily basis having been emotionally, financially and sexually abused for 3 years. It was a place which all my dreams of a happy marriage were shattered. I have recently left an abusive relationship and struggle minute by minute to make sense of it all. While I write my hands are shaking and I am grief stricken with pain. Pain I never thought existed until my husband left. I do not know why it hurts so much, even though I know that it was a bad marriage. since the separation, I have been finding out more about my sham marriage, on a daily basis. I have found out he stole from me, had a business, stole my identity and was having an affair throughout our marriage. My husband, the person I trusted and shared a bed with for 4 years lied to me. I feel like a knife is being jabbed through my heart and I am still bleeding profusely, and I cannot stop the bleeding. Why does it bother me so much, even though I wanted to leave? I think of my husband being with someone other than me, and it is mind shattering. I picture them having fun together, while I am left behind to pick up the pieces. I wish I could have fun, but I am too hurt. I look at other people laughing and I think to myself, am I ever going to laugh again. I rationalize in my head over and over that what goes around , comes around and maybe I will be happy some day. Some day is not quick enough. I look around and I try very hard to find ways to ease my suffering and there is no place or no one that can take away the pain. I have tried praying, researching, talking, running. It helps temporarily, but there is always that weight. I think that he abused me for so long I now feel so lost.”
This is my daughter’s story. This is her journal. This is her struggle to regain her life.
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